[He should agree. He should, he knows he should, what she's saying sounds sensible. No one should be okay with being hurt. Even if it's what Era needs for herself, even if he pushed her into that corner (right?), it doesn't have to be okay, except-
He hesitates.
It doesn't apply to him. It's right, it makes sense, but for him, normal rules don't apply, do they? He's hurt people too, selfishly, he's whined or disappointed them or been ignorant to their pain, he's gotten so many blessings he doesn't deserve at the expense of others and now that sunk cost has come calling-
His heart rate picks up, beating like a hammer in his chest.
There's so many instances of it throughout his life, moments he could have done better, been more supportive. Instead of longing for his father's attention or begrudging broken promises, he could have stepped up and helped with more of his burdens. Instead of grieving only for himself, he could have comforted the others who mourned the city when it fell. Instead of shutting everyone out, he could have helped Ignis, saved Prompto, listened to Gladio. Back in Insomnia he wasted countless hours playing games that in the end don't matter to anyone, won't help the world or those who live in it. (Why had he gone fishing so often? Did people die whom he could have saved when he was fishing?) And here, he's definitely not doing enough, if he doesn't step up everyone will leave, there's no obligation to the crown anymore-
He can't breathe.
He can feel that strange pressure at the back of his mind again, weighing down on him, smothering his thoughts. Selfish, selfish, reflect on your actions, stop being distracted by your own problems and think about someone else. Stop making them worry, you can fix this-]
...I can't-
[He can't breathe. He's drowning and he can't breathe.]
no subject
[He should agree. He should, he knows he should, what she's saying sounds sensible. No one should be okay with being hurt. Even if it's what Era needs for herself, even if he pushed her into that corner (right?), it doesn't have to be okay, except-
He hesitates.
It doesn't apply to him. It's right, it makes sense, but for him, normal rules don't apply, do they? He's hurt people too, selfishly, he's whined or disappointed them or been ignorant to their pain, he's gotten so many blessings he doesn't deserve at the expense of others and now that sunk cost has come calling-
His heart rate picks up, beating like a hammer in his chest.
There's so many instances of it throughout his life, moments he could have done better, been more supportive. Instead of longing for his father's attention or begrudging broken promises, he could have stepped up and helped with more of his burdens. Instead of grieving only for himself, he could have comforted the others who mourned the city when it fell. Instead of shutting everyone out, he could have helped Ignis, saved Prompto, listened to Gladio. Back in Insomnia he wasted countless hours playing games that in the end don't matter to anyone, won't help the world or those who live in it. (Why had he gone fishing so often? Did people die whom he could have saved when he was fishing?) And here, he's definitely not doing enough, if he doesn't step up everyone will leave, there's no obligation to the crown anymore-
He can't breathe.
He can feel that strange pressure at the back of his mind again, weighing down on him, smothering his thoughts. Selfish, selfish, reflect on your actions, stop being distracted by your own problems and think about someone else. Stop making them worry, you can fix this-]
...I can't-
[He can't breathe. He's drowning and he can't breathe.]