My friend and mentor in the art of the dark knight, Sidurgu, and I received training from moogles. Sid loathed them so much.


I had a vision after Milisandia died. I don't know whose it was, as I didn't embody any of them.

In their room, sitting together on their beds, the siblings got to know each other. Milisandia was the eldest of Rex and Ricon, and their parents died in an epidemic. Gaius found them begging on street corners and took them in.

He found Alfonse and Allie later, on the roadside in Werlyt. Gaius took them in, too.

They wanted to make him proud. Milisandia suggested that because he fights for the Empire that they should, too.

Ricon was unsure. He didn't want to be like the Garleans the people of Werlyt were so afraid of.

"Lord Gaius is different. I know he is," said Alfonse.

Rex agreed. Gaius was always saying the strong should lead the weak. This was true even when I met him. I remember Rex was excited about this plan. "Maybe one day people'll look up to us like we do Lord Gaius," he said, barely able to sit still.

"Then it's settled," Alfonse declared. "From now on, we're all brothers and sisters fighting for the same cause."

Allie spoke up then, asking if all of them being brothers and sisters meant that Gaius was their father.

In the end they decided that it did, so long as Gaius didn't mind.

I haven't told him of this memory. They were just children, wanting to make him proud as thanks for his kindness, and in the end they died horrific deaths.

It isn't fair.


When
I had
When
The [ There are a few false starts entirely blotted out, along with some dots where she left her quill to ink for too long in thought.

She decides to continue. ]

When he learned the deceased pilot was Milisandia, I was struck by another flash of memory.

She was still barely ten summers, her tiny hand held in mine (his), smiling up at me (him) like I (he) hung the stars in the sky. Like I (he) was the greatest thing in the world, and could do no wrong.

It hurts.

I have no memory of her as an adult. The Milisandia I remember has only ever been ten.

Sorry for dumping this on you, Noct. I just needed to get it out of my head. I think you understand that better than most.

I am not sure what to do, but I will figure it out.