[It is, a little bit- maybe not so much in the telling, but he suspects it could be for her. He doesn't know exactly what her relationship with her sibling was like, but the hints he'd gotten so far are mixed, based on his nature and appearance. Maybe a happy memory of a sister being loved by her big brother is some comfort to her. He hopes so, at least, and that's the impression he's getting.]
Just... seemed like the kind of memory you'd enjoy.
[He doesn't only want to end up shoving the grim or unhappy memories on her. Balance is as important with this as with anything.]
It--....It is. [ Her reply is delayed, as if she's still gathering her thoughts on the memory.
After a few more bell tolls, she speaks up again. ]
...My brother and I... We didn't have something like that.
[ She neither say this mournfully or enviously. Her relationship with Malos (and her other brother) is complex in ways she has trouble putting into words. But she going to try. ] Truthfully, [ She pauses, trying again. ] ...I use the word "brother" so that it may make sense the most sense to others and not raise questions. It's also a more distant term to use.
[ ... ]
Mythra and him called each other partners. We're... [ She struggles a bit, putting her thoughts into words in ways she hopes make sense, because all of this feels muddled to her, blurry, as if she can't quite remember it, but it feels right. ] It feels as if we're part of the same entity. A trinity. Because there's one more of us.
[He waits and listens, still stroking her hair and paying careful attention to her tone. Again, she offers this part of herself freely; he won't interrupt, and he'll try not to derail. This is one more important step.]
That's come up before, hasn't it? I remember you saying something like that. It was a long time ago...
[Or was that in reference to Mythra and herself? Maybe there's multiple third parties she has to discover. He can't help feeling curious about what any of it might mean.]
Mm. [ She moves her head slightly, as if she could nod while still resting it upon his lap. ] Both that I feel we're not fully ourselves, myself and Mythra, I mean. And that we're part of a greater whole, too.
[ She breaks her gaze from his, looking towards the branches and the sky above. ] Funnily enough, even though I say that... We don't want to lose who we are. At the same time, we're not scared of who we might be or what we might become, because it feels right to reach for that. It's as if we're incomplete....
[ Ah, she's rambling, and she's mentioned something like that before to him. ] A-anyways. Malos and us... We can enter each other's domains freely. [ Although rarely, because there's some strange understanding of respect. Pyra waves a hand, as if to symbolize the entirety of the realm they're in. It's greater than just this conjuring of Elysium. ]
...But if you're wondering, I haven't been able to access his, not since I've come to Havenwell.
[He doesn't want her to lose who she is, either- or to lose her, himself. Like, if she discovered this missing part of herself, would it change who she was at the core? Or would it be another fragment he could meet and befriend, like Mythra? He worries a little sometimes, when he remembers she'd mentioned it to him, what would be different and if there's anything they'd lose in the process. At the same time, he needs to have faith in her, the way she has faith in him that his new memories won't override who he is deep down. Even if she does change, he's sure that any part of her is one he can grow to love, in time.]
Huh...
[He was wondering, actually. And even though she can't access them, he's curious of what that domain might look like. Is it as grim and unwelcoming as Malos' face? ...Okay, yeah, he's gotta ask.]
[ She closes her eyes, contemplative. ] Dark and primordial. [ She opens her eyes. ] All that emptiness, with just a flicker of...plasma or miasma or color to show some texture.
I suppose it was his own memory of something, too, or-- our memory. Just, one that the 'me' that I am isn't as connected to as he is.
[ Again, a thoughtful expression. She's not troubled by the question, and she doesn't feel entirely disturbed or a sense of angst from exploring the deepest parts of their pasts. There is some unease, but it comes from a sense of incompleteness.
But it's nothing that she can't handle, and the question is helpful in its own ways. ] I...
[ Her eyes shut, tighter this time. ] There was a third-- or, that's what I've come to infer, because it feels as if it wasn't just myself and Malos, and that there's another part of this place [ Another wave towards Elyisum. ] that's not connected. But as for when the separation happened...
It was not long after the world began anew, I think. That third part vanished, and without them, the two of us fell apart. I'm not sure why, though. [ She shakes her head, opening her eyes to look at him.
Thinking through this brings her back to an earlier thought, the one of discovering who she truly is, discovering that truth and those memories, and finding that wholeness, of who she is meant to be. But that's her-- rather, them. Herself, Mythra, Malos, and that one other, all supposed to be as one, as if she'd be returning to who or what she was meant to be, a reverse metamorphoses, compared to Noctis' own journey with the memories imposed upon him.
She hesitates before asking. ] Do you ever... feel as if you're incomplete?
[ Her situation and his own are different. She hopes that he doesn't feel incomplete; or that if he does, it's only an added layer brought on by the crystal. ]
[His brows furrow at that, gaze shifting away as he considers the question thoughtfully. Incompleteness is... a strange thing to consider for most people, he suspects. People aren't meant to be separated from parts of themselves; they grow and change, they learn, they create memories or forget things over time. They don't end up fragmented. That doesn't mean it's impossible or unheard of - he will never not think of Pyra as a person despite her origins or that sometimes she turns into a crystal or a lens flare - but it makes the concept a little difficult to parse. He's... himself. There are fragments of him being added due to whatever his crystal or the ring (or both) is doing to him, but he's not losing himself in the process. At least... he thinks he isn't.
He hopes he isn't.
Regardless, he can't come to any conclusion except for that.]
I don't... think so. Maybe there's something missing, but it doesn't feel like the same thing, you know? More like I'm waiting for something to happen. [More memories, or that "Providence" thing Bahamut told him he would gain through his link to the crystal, or to wake up aged as he was when he sat on the throne in his visions. Those are just aspects of his future self, though- they weren't missing pieces.] ...Does it hurt?
[ She seems relieved to hear it, and her smile relaxes as a result. That he goes on to explain that his feeling is more as if he's waiting for something to happen makes sense, too, given what he's told her so far.
She wants him to remain him. She believes he will. She believes that even if not, he can be reminded of who he is, or that she'll love him all the same. Architect knows that he's changed in the time she's known him, and she still loves him. It won't be difficult to love a future version of himself, either, if it's something he naturally adapts to. ]
Ah, no, it doesn't hurt. It's only-- that. That incompleteness, or how strange it is to be separated.
[He can't help wondering what the final version of her (them??) would be like, if they were all together again: Pyra, Mythra, and her missing third. And then them, Malos, and the other missing third. It sounds dizzying, truly. He'll try to find some balance between hoping for the best for her (something he really does want) and worrying what that means for him (which would be a problem for future-him, like everything else, assuming it is one, if it were to happen here).]
Okay... that's good, at least. Or. Not worse. [He smiles cautiously down at her, fingers twisting curls in her hair.] Well, until something changes, you can dream about it. What would you want them to be like? That missing part.
[ She seems surprised at his question, as if she hadn't ever entertained the thought. Sure, she's wondered about these missing aspects of herself, but to picture them...?
Well, she'll start with that more complete part of who she and Mythra are. ]
Oh, um...
[ A pause. ]
I'd like her to... [ She thinks for a moment more, then smiles, almost shyly. ] have really, really long hair. Longer than Mythra's.
Now she has to do it!! It's not as rare when he compliments her, but when he does... Yes, there's that blush, as rose-colored as her hair. All this, just for the prospect that she might look cute with even longer hair. ] M-Mmm. [ Her brow scrunches, but she's having fun even if she seems a tad more embarrassed. ] If we're going by primary colors...
[She does like blue a lot now. (Understandably biased; he does, too.) And he likes that red on her cheeks, too.]
Let's see... that much hair might be tricky to manage. Would she tie it back, maybe? [He pinches together a section of her hair at the back of her head, a tiny little ponytail.] Or a braid would be neat.
[ Oooh, she's definitely blushing now as he plays with the short crop of her hair. Not that she dislikes having short hair, but what would it feel like to have his hands play through longer strands? Probably, it'd feel as nice as whatever he felt when she was able to play with his hair, when it was made to be longer by the effects of this world. ]
[He lifts his brows a bit at that. Hair that's done up? He's seen his fair share of it over the years, sure. Luna always had it up when he saw her in travel photos, girls in his high school did all sorts of hairstyles, long and short. Some were better than others.]
I guess, sure. It's not really a preference or anything... nice hair is nice hair. But change is cool sometimes, if you feel like it. [His hand pauses in her hair, releasing the ponytail and tucking back a bit of her bangs.] Not one to judge on that one either way, considering how long I've worn my hair like this.
[ Thank goodness he's a boyfriend that's easy to please, and she imagines that if he's critical about any hairstyle, it's his own and how he does it to perfection every morning rather than those sported by others. ]
Is that your way of saying that I have nice hair in general?
It's probably not something that'd work universally. [He grins, scratching a bit shyly at his cheek, nonetheless looking pleased.] Luckily, I'm only trying to charm one person.
[ And he has thoroughly charmed her, indeed. Pyra can only smile shyly at him in return, lifting up a hand to him, pressing her palm to his chest, over his heart. Her other hand goes to the center of her chest, as if making some sort of connection between his heart and where hers would be. In moments like these, when he's just as shy and pleased as her, she can just imagine what a fluttering heart feels like.
And it feels like... his touch, his smile, his presence and warmth. It feels like contentedness, safety, and acceptance, even if the their futures in this world are unknown and they both share in the loss of a loved one. Heart beats feels like that. Alive and kept whole, continuing on bravely despite what the world throws at them. ]
...Thank you, Noct. [ What is she specifically thanking him for this time? She's not sure, but she is certain she's grateful for his presence, and that, he's chosen her to share this moment with her. ]
[He pauses at that, surprised for a moment, then shifts his free hand to curl over the one on his heart. He leans over her, gently pressing his lips against hers for a long moment- long enough to feel the strain of his posture in the process, not long enough to regret going for it. When he draws back, his smile is soft, a little melancholy, but gentle.]
Thank you. I feel better.
[Coming here, talking with her, learning more about her history and finding a reason to laugh... it's better than sulking alone on a couch, commiserating about all he's lost. It's made for a much better birthday than anything he could have planned, all things considered.]
[ She returns the kiss when he's leaned over her, smiling up at him when he pulls away.
Now at last, in a moment of peace within Elysium and away from the world, she feels as if she can say it: ] Happy Birthday, Noct. I'm so glad that you're here.
no subject
[It is, a little bit- maybe not so much in the telling, but he suspects it could be for her. He doesn't know exactly what her relationship with her sibling was like, but the hints he'd gotten so far are mixed, based on his nature and appearance. Maybe a happy memory of a sister being loved by her big brother is some comfort to her. He hopes so, at least, and that's the impression he's getting.]
Just... seemed like the kind of memory you'd enjoy.
[He doesn't only want to end up shoving the grim or unhappy memories on her. Balance is as important with this as with anything.]
no subject
After a few more bell tolls, she speaks up again. ]
...My brother and I... We didn't have something like that.
[ She neither say this mournfully or enviously. Her relationship with Malos (and her other brother) is complex in ways she has trouble putting into words. But she going to try. ] Truthfully, [ She pauses, trying again. ] ...I use the word "brother" so that it may make sense the most sense to others and not raise questions. It's also a more distant term to use.
[ ... ]
Mythra and him called each other partners. We're... [ She struggles a bit, putting her thoughts into words in ways she hopes make sense, because all of this feels muddled to her, blurry, as if she can't quite remember it, but it feels right. ] It feels as if we're part of the same entity. A trinity. Because there's one more of us.
no subject
That's come up before, hasn't it? I remember you saying something like that. It was a long time ago...
[Or was that in reference to Mythra and herself? Maybe there's multiple third parties she has to discover. He can't help feeling curious about what any of it might mean.]
no subject
[ She breaks her gaze from his, looking towards the branches and the sky above. ] Funnily enough, even though I say that... We don't want to lose who we are. At the same time, we're not scared of who we might be or what we might become, because it feels right to reach for that. It's as if we're incomplete....
[ Ah, she's rambling, and she's mentioned something like that before to him. ] A-anyways. Malos and us... We can enter each other's domains freely. [ Although rarely, because there's some strange understanding of respect. Pyra waves a hand, as if to symbolize the entirety of the realm they're in. It's greater than just this conjuring of Elysium. ]
...But if you're wondering, I haven't been able to access his, not since I've come to Havenwell.
no subject
Huh...
[He was wondering, actually. And even though she can't access them, he's curious of what that domain might look like. Is it as grim and unwelcoming as Malos' face? ...Okay, yeah, he's gotta ask.]
Do you remember what it's like?
no subject
I suppose it was his own memory of something, too, or-- our memory. Just, one that the 'me' that I am isn't as connected to as he is.
no subject
[Just an empty, dead sea of darkness, when it wasn't crawling with daemons. He'd never seen such a miserable location.]
This might be a weird question, but... do you know why you were all separated?
no subject
But it's nothing that she can't handle, and the question is helpful in its own ways. ] I...
[ Her eyes shut, tighter this time. ] There was a third-- or, that's what I've come to infer, because it feels as if it wasn't just myself and Malos, and that there's another part of this place [ Another wave towards Elyisum. ] that's not connected. But as for when the separation happened...
It was not long after the world began anew, I think. That third part vanished, and without them, the two of us fell apart. I'm not sure why, though. [ She shakes her head, opening her eyes to look at him.
Thinking through this brings her back to an earlier thought, the one of discovering who she truly is, discovering that truth and those memories, and finding that wholeness, of who she is meant to be. But that's her-- rather, them. Herself, Mythra, Malos, and that one other, all supposed to be as one, as if she'd be returning to who or what she was meant to be, a reverse metamorphoses, compared to Noctis' own journey with the memories imposed upon him.
She hesitates before asking. ] Do you ever... feel as if you're incomplete?
[ Her situation and his own are different. She hopes that he doesn't feel incomplete; or that if he does, it's only an added layer brought on by the crystal. ]
no subject
He hopes he isn't.
Regardless, he can't come to any conclusion except for that.]
I don't... think so. Maybe there's something missing, but it doesn't feel like the same thing, you know? More like I'm waiting for something to happen. [More memories, or that "Providence" thing Bahamut told him he would gain through his link to the crystal, or to wake up aged as he was when he sat on the throne in his visions. Those are just aspects of his future self, though- they weren't missing pieces.] ...Does it hurt?
no subject
She wants him to remain him. She believes he will. She believes that even if not, he can be reminded of who he is, or that she'll love him all the same. Architect knows that he's changed in the time she's known him, and she still loves him. It won't be difficult to love a future version of himself, either, if it's something he naturally adapts to. ]
Ah, no, it doesn't hurt. It's only-- that. That incompleteness, or how strange it is to be separated.
no subject
Okay... that's good, at least. Or. Not worse. [He smiles cautiously down at her, fingers twisting curls in her hair.] Well, until something changes, you can dream about it. What would you want them to be like? That missing part.
no subject
Well, she'll start with that more complete part of who she and Mythra are. ]
Oh, um...
[ A pause. ]
I'd like her to... [ She thinks for a moment more, then smiles, almost shyly. ] have really, really long hair. Longer than Mythra's.
no subject
[He laughs lightly, brushing her hair from end to end. It's a short journey, but he can imagine it going much, much further.]
Bet that'd be pretty. You could do a ton with long hair. What about colour? You're red, Mythra's blonde...
no subject
Now she has to do it!! It's not as rare when he compliments her, but when he does... Yes, there's that blush, as rose-colored as her hair. All this, just for the prospect that she might look cute with even longer hair. ] M-Mmm. [ Her brow scrunches, but she's having fun even if she seems a tad more embarrassed. ] If we're going by primary colors...
Something blue, maybe?
no subject
[She does like blue a lot now. (Understandably biased; he does, too.) And he likes that red on her cheeks, too.]
Let's see... that much hair might be tricky to manage. Would she tie it back, maybe? [He pinches together a section of her hair at the back of her head, a tiny little ponytail.] Or a braid would be neat.
no subject
You're right, if it's too long...
[ ... ]
Noct, do you like hair when it's done up?
no subject
I guess, sure. It's not really a preference or anything... nice hair is nice hair. But change is cool sometimes, if you feel like it. [His hand pauses in her hair, releasing the ponytail and tucking back a bit of her bangs.] Not one to judge on that one either way, considering how long I've worn my hair like this.
no subject
Is that your way of saying that I have nice hair in general?
[ She'll take it!! ]
no subject
[May as well come out and say it, if she's going to do have the work for him.]
no subject
You really know how to charm another, don't you?
no subject
no subject
And it feels like... his touch, his smile, his presence and warmth. It feels like contentedness, safety, and acceptance, even if the their futures in this world are unknown and they both share in the loss of a loved one. Heart beats feels like that. Alive and kept whole, continuing on bravely despite what the world throws at them. ]
...Thank you, Noct. [ What is she specifically thanking him for this time? She's not sure, but she is certain she's grateful for his presence, and that, he's chosen her to share this moment with her. ]
no subject
Thank you. I feel better.
[Coming here, talking with her, learning more about her history and finding a reason to laugh... it's better than sulking alone on a couch, commiserating about all he's lost. It's made for a much better birthday than anything he could have planned, all things considered.]
no subject
Now at last, in a moment of peace within Elysium and away from the world, she feels as if she can say it: ] Happy Birthday, Noct. I'm so glad that you're here.