carbungle | IC Contact

No.

I had assumed he would leave with Hemera, but he stayed.

gods im sorry

i mean im glad he's here but... yeah

ignis came back too, and he doesnt remember the first time. its rough

are you gonna tell him everything? or did u already

He is alive here, which is what matters.

He knows some things out of necessity, but I haven't told him the extent. There is no hiding my soul from his eyes, and it gives me away more surely than my tail. Or my 'tattle tail' as Da calls it.

I'm happy for you. Is Ignis settling in well?

is that da as in dad da

[that makes sense in context, right?]

sounds like something hed say tho, a+ name

anyway i hope u can resolve things w/ him in a way that makes u happy, whatever that might be. if u need anything just say the word

iggy's ok. im trying to be more honest about a lot of stuff we both kept hidden the last time around & i think its helping, esp since hes staying w/ us this time. i dont want to regret not saying anything again

Yes. He's your dad and my da.

I hope so too. There were many things I never told him, and still can't tell him. He's returned but he isn't the same. He can't remember us ever being anything more than enemies.

I'm so happy you have the opportunity to resolve your regrets, Noct.

do you think there's a chance it could be temporary? like- maybe they'll remember eventually, if they stay long enough.

I can't think of another time where someone left and came back. but luna's back too now, and that's three all at once

I suppose there is always a chance, though I don't believe it's temporary.

Luna is?

How are you feeling?

yeah probably not. our luck isnt that good lol. itd be nice to hope for it tho

im fine

[well.]

like kind of fine but also a mess, thats just my normal state of being at this point

One thing that I have learned this past year is that love is not a finite resource.

However messy things may be and no matter what your mind may tell you, what you feel in your heart is never wrong.

It will always have the room to hold all those dear to you, even if the place it carves out for each person is not where they may have wished to be.

[He doesn't know how to respond, for a long while. Even when he finally finds his words, he's still not sure he should be saying anything. Not that she's wrong, but... he just feels so selfish, no matter which way he leans in what to do.]

I don't want to hurt anyone, though.

[It's probably inevitable, yet the idea leaves him feeling heartsick nonetheless. Especially when the people he's thinking about deserve to feel happy, as much as if not more than him.]

Hurt is inevitable. You cannot love without being hurt, just as you cannot be loved without causing hurt. Part of love is being there for each other throughout it all. It is acceptance and forgiveness, learning and growing together. It is about trusting the strength of both your bond and each other in the face of adversary.

Be honest with your heart, Noct. Whatever you feel is what you feel. You cannot force feelings to blossom or change no matter how hard you try, and there is no shame in that.

...yeah. yeah, okay.

tho i guess it only becomes an issue if they ask the question, and... im already with pyra. i wasnt before. im sure theyll understand. maybe they can even find some1 better

like i love them, but i cant

i don't think i could be like that with anyone else

I never believed I would come to love anyone romantically. I never wanted to. Now I've a wedding in a month.

I think the most important thing is not to let it fester. Communicate your concerns and feelings from the start. Discuss things and establish expectations of whatever relationships you may have, so you can eliminate the chance of greater hurt in the future.

wouldnt it be wrong to tell them i know how they feel, tho? like. what if they dont feel that way yet, or what if theyre AU versions & dont feel the same

its kind of presumptuous to just bring it up out of the blue like that

It would be wrong to tell them you know how they feel because you don't know. You know how they might feel. That there is a possibility for it, and how that makes you feel.

I think if you bring it up and assure them you do not and will not attribute their forgotten actions to them it should be all right. Perhaps something like "when you were here last you did/said something and I would like some closure about it if you're willing to discuss it with me."

You can initiate the conversation via texting but it should be done face-to-face.

It will be difficult, but to leave it festering will only make things worse as time passes. Do not put it off, though do not rush yourself either. I would suggest no longer than a fortnight, as it gives some time to adjust. Any longer and there is higher risk of expectations being formed.

I've had a similar discussion with Hades, and while things are still difficult there is no lingering paranoia or worry. Neither of us will be caught off guard, and we are respectful of each other's feelings or lack thereof.

He does not love me. And it hurts, yes, but it would have hurt even more if I had gotten my hopes up. Now I have more time for these new wounds to mend.

These are only suggestions from my own perspective and experiences, but I hope some of what I've said can help you, Noct.

No matter what you decide to do, I will be here if you have any need of me.

ive got a lot of thinking to do, huh. business as usual, nothings ever easy

thanks for the offer tho, and the advice. it means a lot, whatever happens

and im sorry you didnt get the answer you wanted. i can kind of get how the closure might help eventually but in the moment? ugh

same offer goes for you, if u need anything

The most rewarding things are never easy.

The answer I received was the one I expected. That he offered me kindness and understanding was more than I could have hoped for.

Thanks, Noct.

any advice for handling the fallout? bc there is totally gonna be

like

for someone in your position

[The rejected party, that is... though the kindness and understanding is a given, he'll file it away still.]

Acknowledging the feelings but not dwelling upon them. I still enjoy spending time in his company, and that he has not dismissed me nor avoided me has been a great help. I enjoyed his companionship long before I developed feelings for him, so being able to simply spend time in his company as I did before is nice.

I can't make my love disappear and I can't make him love me. We're both aware of this, and we respect that without letting it become the focus of our interactions.

that's fair, yeah... i mean its not like how i feel about them has changed or anything like that, just

idk. like they came late to a party & the pizza's all eaten but ive got burgers. still food, still good, but if u got a craving for pizza it's not ideal, but it'd be nice if u still stayed for dinner??

fuck me thats a stupid metaphor

anyway pizza is love

Pizza is O.K.

I would say it is more like cake. It's like going to a party, looking forward to having a wonderful piece of cake, and then all that's left are cupcakes that don't even have any sprinkles.

Cupcakes are wonderful mini-cakes, but they aren't a nice, rich piece of cake with icing and sprinkles and layers of fresh fruit and crème.

They're still cupcakes though, which are far superior to something like pie.

i like all of those desserts lol that one totally doesn't work for me

eithers good tho

this is just making me hungry

IC Contact | Hugtopia

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