carbungle | IC Contact

What counts as partial truth? What's safe? It's bad enough he knows he dies. Hell, it's bad enough that he was there for my reaction to seeing you for the first time.

[He's pretty confident that his father is aware that the future goes very, very badly for him.]

We still... haven't talked about that, either.

...I don't know. I wish that I had an actual useful answer instead of just fumbling around trying to help, but there's nothing I can say worth much of anything.

[In other words, everything's terrible and there's no right answer.]

[Yep... it sure is. And it seems like neither of them have answers that work for the other.]

Don't suppose therapists existed 2000 years ago.

[This town absolutely needs a whole office of them.]

I'm afraid not.

[probably better we don't ask how he even knows what that means]

[He wouldn't even know how to explain it, really.]

Figured.

[Back to the usual method of dealing with it... don't.]

...

Were you worried that I would be angry with you?

[Noctis is quiet for just long enough to probably be a little concerning, but eventually he mumbles an answer.]

It's not... fair, I know. And it'd be fine if it was just me, but- it's not. And I'm still gonna do it. [His brows furrow, and he ducks his head as if trying to hide from his own confession.] I thought... I'd deserve it, I guess. For not trying to save you.

You don't. Deserve it, I mean. This isn't the same as...

[Ardyn trailed off into a brief silence, though the implication about Somnus hung in the air much like a particularly heavy cloud.]

...I was following my calling for a fair few years. I had time enough to make some attempt to come to terms with what it was doing to me and how I believed things would end. Obviously I don't want to die the same as any living creature wouldn't, but...saving the world is about how I expected to do it. And while I would vastly prefer staying as this person until that end should come, it is far from your fault if I should not.

[Another pause.]

I suspect that future's Noctis understood this Ardyn had existed once, and you already know as much to be fact. Even so, I think the only 'salvation' anyone can grant is the one you already will.

[Small comfort it may be, but it's comfort nonetheless, and after a moment's consideration Noctis nods, finding no argument. Similar to him, after all- he has no desire to die, but now that it's expected of him, he'll accept it, to save the world. And he wouldn't want to live or die as anything but himself. If their roles were reversed, he'd want someone to end him, as well.]

Is it better that it's us, killing each other? Rather than some stranger?

[He wonders about that, too- if it's a mercy killing, at least by them knowing one another, it can be done with kindness. Or maybe that's just what he'll try to tell himself when he destroys his only living relative left on the planet.

Being killed by his father... is that better than dying on the sword of some daemon? At least he, too, will be loved as he passes. At least his father cared enough to hesitate.]

I don't know that I can say for sure. I would not wish to put the responsibility on anyone else, but at the same time...if I had to choose, a somewhat selfish part of me would wish the one bearing the sword to be possessed of compassion enough to care.

[Even for a complete monster that long since stopped deserving it, as far as Ardyn was concerned.]

What do you think?

...I don't know, either.

[It isn't cut and dry the way he'd like to be, a simple or binary answer. There are layers of complexity, with pain to be had on both sides. He doesn't want to watch his father kill him again. He doesn't want his father to have to watch him die, either, or be the one to stop his heart. He'll learn to accept his duty eventually - accept it fully, that is, rather than the halfhearted resignation he feels now just to keep himself moving forward - but why must it be so cruel?]

I'll... give it some thought. Though I guess it's more that I'll have to accept it, since we don't have a choice about it either way.

You're allowed to feel however you like about it. Regardless of anything we're meant to do, no one can demand we change what we think of it in the process.

...I don't like any of this myself, certainly. But right now, there's little else presenting itself in the way of a solution. So should that remain the case, I am trying to accept that I'll more than likely become something terrible and do little to make anything else less horrible in the process.

Guess that's true. Feeling isn't the same as doing.

[He can feel like this whole scenario is obscenely unfair, but he can still follow through with it, anyway. He and Ardyn don't have to hate each other, but they still have to kill each other.]

I know it's awful, but a part of me's... glad, kind of. That we're in it together. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have anyone to talk to.

[If Ardyn wasn't here, he would still have her, it's true; he wouldn't be completely alone. But Ardyn shares this fate in their world, from the same gods and the same Crystal. There is kinship in their mutual morbid destiny that he can't really deny. He could bury it, sure - business as usual with him - but he's been edging up so close to a breaking point for so long now that solitude in this could tip him over.]

Likewise. I wouldn't wish isolation on anyone, that kind of thing causes scars no blade ever could. I'm grateful that you're with me in this, and that I can be here in turn. If things do have to be so dismal, then...it would be better that neither of us were alone in it.

[Wouldn't he know it. Gods, but he missed Aera and even his brother on occasion--being cut off from the life he'd once known was an achingly painful thing no one here could remedy. But he wasn't alone, not in their shared ultimate fate and in little else. That was enough, for the moment.]

[Ardyn paused, a hesitant smile beginning to form on his face.]

...If I ever make mention of wanting to cut my hair, stop me. I think I've still sanity enough to know when I look ridiculous, and it won't grow back for another two millennia.

[Noctis makes a faint, agreeable noise at the first- and then a quiet scoff at the last. His hair... there's a priority he can appreciate. Ridiculous might be a little harsh, but Izunia's style was definitely haphazard.]

Should I be saying the same thing about letting mine grow out?

[Not terrible, yet it looked like apocalypse hair - not especially fashionable. Though that makes him glance sidelong at Ardyn, considering his attire. His hair is one thing, but...]

...The clothes were worse.

Oh, I don't know. I thought you looked dignified, if a bit disheveled.

[they both looked like shit and he knew it.]

Honestly, what was that? I've never worn black a day in my life, to say nothing of...well, everything else.

[Yeah, by the look Noctis gives him, it's pretty clear he's not buying it. Dignified... there was nothing dignified about that. Though his future self more or less tried his best, it seemed. There are worse ways to look, or to die, probably.]

No idea. I just figured it was Niflheim fashion being extra weird. It didn't look like any Lucian clothes I'd seen.

[A lot of their garb was more modest, really. Even the kings mostly wore simple suits with a bit of fancy accenting, and half the time he could barely see the little crown in his dad's grey hair. Most of their flair goes into the weaponry, not clothing- their own fashion is meant to outlive them.]

He has this weird... wing... thing. On his arm. Just one arm! And it doesn't even do anything, just makes him look lopsided.

I don't know that Niflheim even wears black, come to think of it.

[A shrug of his shoulders, and a small but somewhat more present smile:]

Seeking attention, maybe?

I could really never tell with that guy.

[Unpredictable, except when he worked hard to be incredibly predictable.]

Maybe he was trying to use bad fashion to piss me off even more.

Well it's worked, I'm annoyed enough.

[Another scoff, more amused this time. It is annoying, but this quiet roast is pretty funny, and they could use the levity.]

How would you dress up the harbinger of the apocalypse? Something more colourful maybe?

Well I can't say I would know, but I certainly know what I wouldn't be caught outside wearing. Contrary to popular belief, I have standards now and again.

...Yeah, your style here's pretty oldschool, but it beats whatever that guy wore.

[Tired hippie TA is a unique fashion, but it's still fashion of sorts.]

Is it really that bad? I'm only trying to wear what feels comfortable.

I didn't say it was bad.

[It's a little bad. But he didn't say it.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject