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[ Oh, how she had wanted to embrace him the moment she noticed he was awake...

She’s glad for him motioning her over. Perhaps more carefully than before, mindful of his condition, she goes to him, taking his hand in silence.

Was it scary for him, she wonders, in his last moments before his image of his soul shattered? Or was it peaceful? What was he thinking? Did he even think, that if it was to be his last moment, it would have been as terrible as that? There remains so many more questions she wishes to ask. None of them, she voices.

His has a cookie in his mouth.

He’s cute.

She smiles. ]

Noct...

[Rather than take her hand right away, once she's close enough to reach he touches his fingers to her face, pointer and middle to each side of her lips... and gently draws the corners down.]

You don't have to force yourself.

[His voice is somewhat muffled by his latest cookie bite, but the words are clear enough to be recognized, and there's caution in his gaze. She's been smiling at him near-constantly since this whole thing went down, but she has to be hurting, too. She's allowed to be upset about what happened.]

[ Her lips easily curve downward, as they’ve finally been released of the strain.

Her voice drops to a tremulous whisper, as she finally voices what’s been on her mind. ]

Weren’t you... scared?

[ He could have been, which is understandable. Or he could not have been, which... might be worse. He doesn’t have enough self preservation.

Or maybe this is all projection on her part, because she was terrified of losing him. ]

[He could deny it, and it's tempting. Tell her he felt nothing, to avoid causing her pain. It's always been easier to lie for himself than accept it from others.

Instead he exhales, swallows, and lowers his hand to curl around hers.]

I've never felt anything like that before. Like- tired, sure. Pain, no problem. This was like... I dunno. I tried to swim when I was drowning. [He shrugs his shoulders, glancing down briefly to evade her gaze.] It.. freaked me out, when I didn't know if I could come back from it.

[Dissolving into nothing in a soulscape of his own making- he'd never been there before, never pushed himself so far. He'd been in difficult fights before, brushed up close with death, but always in the physical realm, when he could feel the pain in his body and the sweat on his brow, or the trickle of blood from his wounds. In this case, it was as if his very essence was draining away, but there'd been no limit to brush up against, no warning bells going off in his body to tell him stop or stay down or wait for the guys to heal you. No Ignis with a potion in his hand, no Gladio to drag him upright, no Prompto to yank him out of danger's path. Mythra was busy and Pyra out of his reach. He'd had to make a choice on his own, and very nearly killed himself. Perhaps his willingness to go that far is the most unsettling part of it; he's already resigned to die for the sake of others back home, when duty calls, but it's a little early to be making that choice now.

So... yeah, he's kind of terrified. But more of himself than what happened.]

[ She’d much rather hear that than if he had felt nothing at all. She whispers his name again— ] Noct... [ —and carefully drapes her arms around him, pulling him into an embrace as she simultaneously leans down to him. Burying her face into his neck, she whispers an “I love you” before raising up to kiss the side of his head, once, twice. ]

We thought we lost you...

But you’re here. You’re here.

[ How does she say “don’t do that again”, when she knows he would? Not just for herself, but it’s his world that’s so much more important. If he perished here, what would that mean for the future of Eos? Not that she doesn’t want him to remain and live and not do such reckless things just because of that, no.

She wants him to live because he’s wonderful, and he deserves to live his life in this world... without interruptions or a premature end. Her arms tighten around him. ]

Be a little more self preserving next time, mm?

[ “Next time” because this might not be the last, if she knows him well enough. But maybe he’ll be more cautious next time if he believes he has a life worth living. ]

[His arms lift to hold her back, weak but needy, resting his head against hers. He can hear that message loud and clear: try not to let there be a next time, and if there is, do it differently. He'd feel much the same way had their roles been reversed, even knowing she's far more durable than he is. It's easy to remember the fear and grief of losing someone he loves. Watching Luna get stabbed, bleeding out on the stone, or when Pyra had been caught by the acid beast and had her flesh burned away, impaled on its horn... he doesn't want anyone to feel that way, nor does he want others to feel it for his mistakes.]

No putting bombs in the armory, got it, [he muses, trying to be lighthearted, but he doesn't push for it. This is serious, and that wasn't really the problem. He'd survived the Fetter being in there- what had burned him out was trying to protect Mythra beyond his limitations on top of the Fetter wounding him.] ...Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you guys like that.

[Mythra had cried. He didn't know that was possible. He hadn't asked about Pyra because he'd been afraid of the extra guilt.]

[ She pulls away just enough to look at him, holding his gaze meaningfully as if she could dive back down into his soul through the deep blue windows of his eyes. Then she exhales, snuggling up to him upon the bed. ]

We’re only glad that you’re here. [ She’s about to sound like a broken record at this point, but it merits repeating. ]

It’s— not your fault. Just... please. Think of the future you want in this world too.

[ And if the future he wants can’t be achieved without sacrificing himself? Then she really can’t complain. ]

You have to be there as well.

[ And if he didn’t think of it at all in his (almost) last moments, then... maybe they really are both new of this “having a future” thing.

It’s a learning processes. ]

[He doesn't mind the repetitiveness; if anything, it's reassuring to hear it multiple times. That he's wanted, that his life matters, that she'd like to have a future with him. It's more than what he's been used to, over the years. (He knows he's important and loved. But to hear it-)

His arm curls around her, glad to have her close. Her warmth is even better than cookies, big surprise. He stays quiet like that for a long moment, focusing on her and the comfort her company brings him, until a soft tremor passes through his body.]

...I... promised. [His words are hesitant, as if afraid to voice them, like it'll make them real.] I told Mythra I'd say so, if I'm not okay.

[ She thinks of this promise that occurred just minutes before that one: "I promise not to do anything that'll get me killed. But I'll do what I have to."

Then, it's up to those around him to make sure that he's not put in a situation that he must take the burden of damage or sacrifice himself. Like-- like she did. Because his heart is so big, because he cares so much, it would be useless to promise something when caring forces his hand.

"I'll let you know. That, I can promise."

Is that the best they can do? If it is, then she supposes she must accept it. Pyra shuts her eyes, holding him. ]

Are you okay?

[His grip tightens for a moment, as long as he can hold it before his strength wanes again.]

I'm not okay.

["I'll be okay," had been his answer at the time, more truthful than the lie he'd wanted to offer. He still believes it, that he will be, but he's not there yet. It takes so much effort to admit it, to resist every urge to shrug this off and continue to be nonchalant about the fact that he feels kind of wretched, that he's stuck here and his magic isn't working and he can barely move and it's like no stasis he's ever felt before- but he kind of wants to strangle himself for even thinking about shuffling his burden onto her shoulders like this. He's only going to make her feel worse, when she must already be struggling with that guilt. Just because he'd never blame her doesn't mean she won't blame herself.

He'd promised, though. He doesn't want to lie to her, and he'd promised.]

I'm gonna get there. I know this isn't... permanent. [That's how it feels at least, and he'll cling quietly to that belief as long as he's able, unless proven wrong.] But right now... it kinda sucks.

[ She turns to him, her smile small, but the gratefulness in her eyes is sincere, thankful. ]

Looks like.... I'm not the only one who needs to be told to not force oneself.

[ It's why she asked. If he didn't say anything, then she wouldn't know the extent of how he feels. She doesn't want that, that somehow in the midst of their grief, they both believed they needed to be strong for each other's sake.

She raises her hand up to place her palm upon his chest, as she usually does when she cuddles beside him. This way, he'll be able to continue to have his cookies in bed. ]

[He opens his mouth to apologize again, then thinks better of it and just nods reluctantly. Yeah, she's got a point. It would be silly to deny it when he's got no grounds to defend. He does feel a little better, seeing that look in her eyes. Like... maybe the value of a genuine answer outweighs some of the pain it might cause.]

It's... kind of a habit of mine. [He offers up a small, apologetic smile. Probably one she should be aware of, if she hadn't caught on already.] Easier to just deal with it on my own than try to explain what's wrong.

[Particularly when there's no explanation to offer beyond "I'm in pain and don't know why or how to fix it". That usually just makes people uncomfortable and feel sorry for him, and he hates both.]

[ Pyra nuzzles her head against him contentedly. She's not sure what he's like with others, but she's glad that he feels comfortable enough to share how he feels with her. ] Ours, both. [ Such a bad habit, and they're probably both hypocrites too many times to count, too. ]

How terrible, you're not on your own anymore. [ She replies, integrating some lightness into her tone. Then, more sincerely: ] So, let's work on the hardest parts together.

[ ...Her turn, he supposes. ]

I... was worried you wouldn't get better. But you're regaining strength day by day.

[How terrible indeed. He doesn't really like admitting it still, but if it's something she too needs reminding of, he can... well, at least try to do better.

He makes a quiet, agreeable noise at her confession, recognizing the truth of it as well as her very valid fear.]

I noticed you. Kind of. My perception's been like... [He makes a non-committal, wobbly hand gesture.] But I caught you checking in when I was half-asleep. [That same hand slides up to curl around hers at his chest.] Were you worried things would get worse, instead?

[He doesn't know how much fussing she's done while he was unconscious, but he's noticed little signs here and there. How hesitant she's been to touch him without invitation when he wakes up, how she's spoiling him and forcing smiles. She's not okay, either.]

I--.... Yes.

[ No use in hiding it, but she feels far more secure with his hand clasping hers upon his chest. ] That you wouldn't walk again. Or that you would disappear. [ Her hand tightens in his. ]

...I saw you vanish, Noct. I thought that was it. [ Despite the gravity of her words, she can't help but give a wry smile at the end. She should have checked his pulse right away, even if she had been under the assumption that it had been his soul that had shattered.

She recalls when he first gave his magic to her, that with that same magic he had granted her the ability to heal him through touch, giving him an added boost. She never had that ability before. His magic is miraculous to her, but in that moment when she had held his soul-form and it shattered, it wouldn't have helped. ]

....And I thought I could bring you back.

[He can't answer for a little while, only burying his face against her hair and closing his eyes. He can imagine the fear she must've felt to witness it, and to watch and worry. He's left people waiting at his bedside watching him far too often for his liking. And here he is again, in poor condition and worrying his loved ones due to his own reckless behaviour. He can't even promise he won't end up like this again, helpless against his own urges to fight for others, to save and protect. A noble cause until the aftermath when others have to suffer for it.

He wishes there was a better path he could more easily tread. If he was better, if-

With a sharp exhale, he cuts that thought off at the head. That's not right, either. Not a good answer to offer. Instead, he focuses on what she's said.]

I don't understand.

[Bring him back? He thought she couldn't heal, though. What does that mean?]

With my crystal.

[ Upon his chest, her hand shifts slightly right of the apex of his heartbeat. Her touch now firmly centered, the location is exactly where her crystal sits upon her chest. ]

I could bring you back.

[ Her fingers curl into a loose fist. ] When you were gone, I thought--- for a moment, to do so. [ Her eyes slide shut. ]

But I wasn't sure if that would be what you wanted. So many of your family has suffered for lingering after their initial deaths... without choice. [ In one form or another, again, without choice. Granted, Noctis would be actually alive and well, not in some immortal form or spirit, but it's the principle of the matter. ] I couldn't bring myself to do the same to you.

[He pauses at that, tension passing through his body like a static shock- there at once, but slowly easing the more she elaborates. He admittedly hadn't given that much thought to her offer yet, mostly since he'd had no further incidents as far as the memories go, and they'd been awfully preoccupied with other things so both were easy to push to the back of his mind. Now she's saying her crystal can not only potentially redirect memories, but also revive the dead?

He's... stunned. It's bizarre to envision - on Eos in most cases, dead is dead. Phoenix Downs create something of a grey area, the Lucian kings linger on in spirit form, and the ancient crypts of Solheim are full of undead daemons, but otherwise once a soul leaves its body that's it, they're gone for good. If that shattered form in his armory really had been a version of him that could die, there wouldn't be any coming back. But she'd had a way around it, and...

He inhales, exhales, slowly. It's... a lot. It didn't happen, but it's definitely a lot.]

That's... [A LOT, IT'S A LOT, PYRA.] I mean. Thanks, for... letting me decide. That's huge, right?

[He shifts a little, glancing down at her to try and catch her expression. Not just to let him choose, but to let him go, if it came to that. Considering all of the things they've talked about, months of believing that what was best for their worlds is what mattered most. Here, she'd... put him first, even if that meant letting him die. And it's not like he wants to die, but at least he'd have the agency to be allowed it. That's so much more than what many have granted to him.]

[ She blinks in surprise, lifting her head. It feels strange to be thanked for what essentially amounts to her letting him die. How could she bear to face Ardyn or Regis ever again, if she did? Willful inaction, Era had said. This would be it, a moment in time where she would have simply let him pass from the world and out of her hands...

So, she's surprised that he's thanking her of all things. ] Inaction on my part... Noct, this means that-- I would have let you die.

[ And she did, in those few fleeting moments before his voice called back to Mythra.

She knows that so many of his family have suffered for being kept after their deaths. And, his choice is important. She's realized that before, they've talked about how important it is to him before. She had chosen not to begin the process of bringing him back (something that would have been unnecessary), believing that she'd harm him less. Yet, he would have died.

But would it have been right to have kept him alive?

(She's still shaken by this dilemma.) ] You're...you're not upset about that?

[His expression twists a little, looking conflicted.]

I dunno. It feels like it'd be unfair to be mad about that. You offered me your crystal before, and I kinda said no already. ["I'll think about it" is basically "no for now".] Plus you gave it some thought- like, your reasoning checks out. It's not like we're ever really allowed to die. Hell, if I died I might've just ended up a ghost in the ring with the rest of them.

[His hand around hers squeezes gently, and an edge of grim humour enters his tone.]

Maybe it's easier to say because it was a big fakeout- I didn't die, so it didn't matter in the end. But I don't think you were wrong when you were looking at the big picture instead of just... you wanting me to live at any cost. Does that make sense?

[ Putting it in such reasonable terms makes her pause. He's correct, they truly don't know what would happen if he were to die, if his soul would be in the ring or not-- if he is allowed to die at all. That, again, is a "choice" taken from him.

He's not upset. He's not mad.

After a moment, she nods, and her lips part. ]

....If... you are going to die. Or to live.... I didn't want to hurt you. [ Didn't want to hurt him further by bringing him back alive, specifically. ]

That choice-- it should be yours.

[ She looks at him curiously. Why is he not as bamboozled as she is? ]

Right... yeah.

[He nods slowly, rolling the words over in his head like it's a puzzle. It's never really been his choice, like many things. People have died for him, sacrificing themselves to shield or hide or protect him, all because the gods and bloodline deemed him more important in the grand scheme of things. Many have sacrificed all, Bahamut had said, and it was true. He'd been spared so that he could be sacrificed as recompense for their suffering when the time came. It's... weird, and kind of grimly exhilarating to be on the other side of things, to be allowed to risk all for someone who matters so much to him. He kind of understands better now, how others might have given up so much to save him.

At the same time, though, Pyra's struggling with the weight of her choice, and it shows. So after reasonable consideration, he smiles faintly and leans in, pressing his lips against her forehead and leaning on her once more.]

It is my choice- so I'll let you know for next time... it's okay. If it comes down to me dying or you sharing your crystal, then I'll take whatever you want to offer me. [He's so not scared of being bound to another crystal that he'll take death as a preferred alternative. He trusts her. ...Although, with the caveat,] As long as it doesn't hurt you worse to do it.

[ She bows her head, allowing his lips to reach her forehead for a kiss. Quietly, she exhales against his neck.

"As long as it doesn't hurt you worse to do it." ]

It wouldn't hurt me. I just worry about hurting y-- [ ....She stops herself then. How many times has she said this before? He already knows. With another sigh, she finishes her sentence. ] ...you.

[ And his family. She worries about hurting all of them, all of those that danced with him at the party, that remain here caring for him, that love him. If she can face them with the knowledge that she would have let him die, but he isn't upset at her for it-- rather, grateful that she had considered him making his own choice before it all-- then... it's not all that terrible, is it?

...It is troubling, however, that he's grateful for that at all. Him making his own choices should be the default, but such luxuries were scarcely afforded to him both from his upbringing and the fate looming over him. This is how novel it is to him, he's thanking her for something that should already be his. Even now--

"then I'll take whatever you want to offer me."

--he's going a roundabout way of pushing his choice back to her, and with such an important thing as his life itself! Baby steps, perhaps, but...

Her hand drifts from the center of his chest to his cheek. ] ...That... choice-making. Let's make it the norm.

So. I want to hear it, Noct. Don't make it my choice-- [ One step further. He can do it. She brushes her thumb beneath his eye tenderly, softening her tone in a way she hopes is encouraging. ] Make it yours. What would you want?

[He blinks at that- it's an angle he hadn't considered. Giving him her crystal is still her choice to make, her gift to offer, and she can retract it any time, so he'd intended to leave it more open-ended. It hadn't occurred to him how that might come across.]

Uh... okay, let's see.

[His brows furrow as he thinks over his wording. How to say it...]

If- if something bad happens and I kick the bucket, and if you still feel the same about it and are willing to share it, then... I choose to live. So as long as you're cool with doing it, then I want your crystal to keep me alive. [He tilts his head curiously.] Does that work?

[His meaning hasn't changed, but perhaps the rephrase makes it sound better on her part. A shared choice, rather than one or the other taking on that responsibility. He won't outright demand that she rescues him, but he won't make her stand by and watch him die either when she'd rather save him.]

[ There it is. ]

Mm... a hundred points. [ She smiles, lifting up her head to give him a small kiss. ] Out of a hundred. [ Before was only fifty!

She hadn't known how relieving it would be to hear him say it, "I choose to live," but with those few words spoken, her body relaxes against his. He'll live, and he'll get better. He'll walk again, he'll run, he'll warp. It will be okay. ]

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