A...alright. [True enough; Noctis knew by now that if he asked for space, Ardyn would give it to him without question. The fact that he didn't right now was assurance enough that he wouldn't, regardless of Ardyn's humanity or lack thereof.]
[Satisfied by that, and with a nod and a deep swig of his glass to finish it - because even shitty wine is not to be wasted when your goal is to quietly drown yourself in woes - he grabs the bottle and carries it over to the couch. After nudging some cushions aside to make room, he flops down onto one side of it, propping his feet up shamelessly on the coffee table. The other half's for you, uncle, time to cozy up and be sadsacks.]
I'm not putting up with anything. You asked and I invited you.
[He offers the bottle out, shifting over so the lean is much more obvious on his side. Ardyn wants to be cautious, fine, but he's tearing down those pointless barriers, at least for one day. Cue aggressive non-optional cuddle.]
Here's a rule to consider: you're allowed to feel bad about yourself, but don't frame it in a way that makes me the asshole.
[He's the one who does the killing, after all. Even if he's... changed, it still must have been painful to watch. A man with the face of Somnus once again killing a man bearing his own visage, all the purge the world of darkness and sit the throne, even if just for a moment.]
[It's weird that he has mixed feelings on that. Would it be easier to handle anger? He's more equipped to deal with it, considering how he was raised and everything he went through, as opposed to the sorrow and self-loathing. At least when you're angry you just need to hit something for a while until that feeling subsides. This is... far more complicated.
On the other hand, the whole conflict was born from hate. He doesn't want to be hated, least of all by his own family.]
You won't be forgotten. I know it doesn't help, or change anything, but... people need to know what happened, and how things got this bad. Otherwise something like it could just happen again.
[He couldn't be angry at Noctis for this, when none of it was his fault or choice. By now he could barely even hate Somnus for all that had happened, and a lot had happened.]
It--it would be nice to think people might actually know what transpired back then, and better still to be able to prevent it.
Terribly-detail oriented, though that's a good quality to have.
[Talking about Ignis would be the last thing that would help, though Ardyn wasn't about to admit to that. Instead he uneasily settled an arm over Noctis' shoulders in an uncertain not-quite-hug, hesitating before speaking again.]
And what about you? What are you feeling about all this?
[Loaded question, but he sort of asked for it by doing it first. Noctis doesn't refuse the hug- rather, he leans closer into it and recollects the wine for another drink. Loose those lips, so he doesn't give in to the temptation to shut down entirely.]
Pretty messed up, if we're being honest. [His fingers scrape over the glass, debating whether or not to say it, but- gods, he has to talk about it with someone, doesn't he? And if anyone would understand the conflicted emotions he's trying to deal with, it's Ardyn.] ...It's... my dad. The one who does it. All the past kings get a turn, but he's the last.
[And he has no idea, no idea how he's supposed to face Regis next and not let anything show, not give away by even the slightest of reactions that he's distressed about getting killed by his own father one day.]
[Ardyn didn't say that, obviously, but sure as hell thought something to that general tune. Could this get worse? ...Probably, and he really didn't want to think about how.]
That's hardly fair at all, in several different aspects. [His arm tightened around Noctis, just a little. Ardyn knew he couldn't do a thing to protect him, but he could at least try to put forth the effort.] Once was certainly enough, I don't see how that's anything but cruel.
[Noctis has long stopped wondering what could get worse, because it inevitably does at some point or another. That's been the path of his life for months now.]
Yeah. And I don't blame him or anything, I'm not angry... it must be hard, existing in the ring like that. And I was... absorbing them into myself, I think. Like I'm taking them with me when I... go. So they had to...
[He doesn't exactly know what that means, if he'd already killed Ardyn at that point, but it felt real.]
Still, I... it's not like I can tell him. But I don't know if I can pretend I didn't see it, either.
There's a fair bit here that would all be near impossible to tell him. It isn't my place to decide whether you do or not and what you choose to say, but...if it were me I would at least wish to know the partial truth, if the whole of it should be too cruel to say.
What counts as partial truth? What's safe? It's bad enough he knows he dies. Hell, it's bad enough that he was there for my reaction to seeing you for the first time.
[He's pretty confident that his father is aware that the future goes very, very badly for him.]
...I don't know. I wish that I had an actual useful answer instead of just fumbling around trying to help, but there's nothing I can say worth much of anything.
[In other words, everything's terrible and there's no right answer.]
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[He seemed to think that over, forcibly pulling himself back together enough to focus.]
Would...that really be alright with you? You're likely to pass out long before I do.
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It's my house. Not like anyone has to carry me home. Stay as long as you want, you're welcome here.
[Not something he would say to Izunia.]
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I would like that.
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...Thank you for putting up with all this. I don't mean to cause you more trouble than I already have.
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[He offers the bottle out, shifting over so the lean is much more obvious on his side. Ardyn wants to be cautious, fine, but he's tearing down those pointless barriers, at least for one day. Cue aggressive non-optional cuddle.]
Here's a rule to consider: you're allowed to feel bad about yourself, but don't frame it in a way that makes me the asshole.
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[After all, if he didn't want to hurt anyone then it would be pretty damn stupid to start now.]
[...He'd definitely take a drink, at least.]
I've never been very skilled with expressing problems, I'm afraid. It's something I clearly need to learn.
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[At least Noctis doesn't sound angry about it. He's being a brat but he's also doing it to make a point, here.]
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...I don't want to disappear.
[It was a start.]
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Nobody would- especially like that.
[And especially now, having regained a family he lost.]
What you saw... are you angry?
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[He's the one who does the killing, after all. Even if he's... changed, it still must have been painful to watch. A man with the face of Somnus once again killing a man bearing his own visage, all the purge the world of darkness and sit the throne, even if just for a moment.]
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[An answer without hesitation, Ardyn uneasily resting a hand on his chest where a scar laid hidden under his shirt.]
It was--will be the right thing this time. That...isn't me. I would rather be dead than exist as that, and even with that aside...
[There was a brief pause that time, Ardyn searching for the right way to say what he was thinking.]
...I think he'll want that much. You'll be doing me a favor, whichever Ardyn I am by then.
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On the other hand, the whole conflict was born from hate. He doesn't want to be hated, least of all by his own family.]
You won't be forgotten. I know it doesn't help, or change anything, but... people need to know what happened, and how things got this bad. Otherwise something like it could just happen again.
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[He couldn't be angry at Noctis for this, when none of it was his fault or choice. By now he could barely even hate Somnus for all that had happened, and a lot had happened.]
It--it would be nice to think people might actually know what transpired back then, and better still to be able to prevent it.
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[And it's Ignis, so of course he'd put a hell of an effort into studying their history. He wouldn't let the end of the Lucii's story be inaccurate.]
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[Talking about Ignis would be the last thing that would help, though Ardyn wasn't about to admit to that. Instead he uneasily settled an arm over Noctis' shoulders in an uncertain not-quite-hug, hesitating before speaking again.]
And what about you? What are you feeling about all this?
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Pretty messed up, if we're being honest. [His fingers scrape over the glass, debating whether or not to say it, but- gods, he has to talk about it with someone, doesn't he? And if anyone would understand the conflicted emotions he's trying to deal with, it's Ardyn.] ...It's... my dad. The one who does it. All the past kings get a turn, but he's the last.
[And he has no idea, no idea how he's supposed to face Regis next and not let anything show, not give away by even the slightest of reactions that he's distressed about getting killed by his own father one day.]
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[Ardyn didn't say that, obviously, but sure as hell thought something to that general tune. Could this get worse? ...Probably, and he really didn't want to think about how.]
That's hardly fair at all, in several different aspects. [His arm tightened around Noctis, just a little. Ardyn knew he couldn't do a thing to protect him, but he could at least try to put forth the effort.] Once was certainly enough, I don't see how that's anything but cruel.
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Yeah. And I don't blame him or anything, I'm not angry... it must be hard, existing in the ring like that. And I was... absorbing them into myself, I think. Like I'm taking them with me when I... go. So they had to...
[He doesn't exactly know what that means, if he'd already killed Ardyn at that point, but it felt real.]
Still, I... it's not like I can tell him. But I don't know if I can pretend I didn't see it, either.
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[He's pretty confident that his father is aware that the future goes very, very badly for him.]
We still... haven't talked about that, either.
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[In other words, everything's terrible and there's no right answer.]
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Don't suppose therapists existed 2000 years ago.
[This town absolutely needs a whole office of them.]
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[probably better we don't ask how he even knows what that means]
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