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[ He stops when he reaches the bed, pausing there and wait to see if Noctis makes room for him to sit down or not. ]

... I did. [ He exhales a sigh. He heard enough of the story to get the gist of it, but he knows the big things. ] Got room for one more?

[Another long moment of quiet as he hesitates, and then, wordlessly, Noctis reaches out and wraps his fingers around Ignis' wrist, tugging weakly, a silent invitation.]

[ Ignis goes with Noctis' movements here, and he lets his hands guide him down on the bed, quietly sitting down next to Noctis.

He takes a moment here. ]

I know she and Ardyn saved your life, [ he starts quietly ] and how you almost died.

[ He'd been caught up in not accepting Noctis' own fate, that, well, he hadn't forgotten about the normal dangers that are out in the world. Finding Prompto was certainly a wake up call there. ]

Pyra, [ he reaches for the hand around his waist and takes it in his own, twining their fingers together. ] she thought I would blame her for what happened to you, but I don't. I made sure that she knows it.

You were only trying to help her, but it backfired on you, so I don't fault you there either. [ A small pause as he catches his breath. ] Noct, please, be more careful going forward.

[It's gentler than Noctis would have expected; for that, he feels both guilty and grateful. He really must be in rough shape if Ignis isn't taking the opportunity to lecture him properly. His hand holds fast to Ignis', his exhale one of resignation.]

I thought I was being careful. Figured it'd be worse if something like that was out in the world where anyone could get ahold of it. I... didn't know that something could hurt me from inside the armory.

[His hand tightens a little, unconsciously; he should be used to his own powers hurting himself by now, but this was on a whole other level. With the Arms and the ring, he'd always had the option to stop.]

[ Ignis is flat out tired and exhausted from worrying himself silly over both Noctis and Prompto that he can't bring himself to lecture Noctis. Even with Pyra's help, he has been pushing himself a little harder to take care of the pair.

He tightens his own hand when he feels Noctis doing it, taking a moment to think. ]

I can only guess that that armory didn't like something not from our world and it hurt you. Unless you've done it before?

I haven't, but that isn't why. It was busted, shooting off a bunch of lightning energy, and it couldn't be turned off. That's why we wanted to keep it safe.

[His free hand rests on his chest, scratching idly at the material of his shirt as if searching for an itch to the core of his soul itself. It still feels weird, and he can't access the armory yet, but it doesn't feel wrong like it did before.]

It's, um. It's still in the armory. But it's okay now, I think. It's not doing that anymore.

Yes, Pyra mentioned that she dived deep into your soul and helped you repair it.

[ He'd gathered that much that it was still in the armory, but that conversation had taken a big turn when she revealed that Noctis almost died, then she needed the reassurance from Ignis that he didn't blame her. ]

I get the feeling that's a guarded secret of hers. [ He adds on quietly, recalling her hesitation before she revealed that to him. ]

[Noctis blinks, falling quiet again, genuinely surprised by the admission. Pyra really has been keeping her secrets so closely, he never imagined she'd reveal this to anyone. He hopes she hadn't felt forced into it, due to him being hurt.]

...Yeah... yeah, it is. But you...

[Based on Ignis' earlier words, he didn't judge Pyra for supposedly causing all of this, which makes that one more person who doesn't blame her for it. It's such a relief.]

Are you okay with it? Her not exactly being normal?

Of course, we've dealt with stranger things after all.

[ He gives their joined hands a squeeze. ]

I may not understand how she dived deep into your soul like that, but she saved your life. You're safe and alive.

[ That's all he can ask for at this moment in time. It's up to Pyra if she ever wants to reveal the rest of it, but Ignis isn't going to push it. ]

...Mm.

[He's glad Ignis isn't prying; he can't explain Mythra's existence without breaching Pyra's trust, and he wouldn't even know where to begin anyway. What truly matters is the intent behind that response, and it's one he's grateful for.]

...Thanks... for being gentle with her. For not blaming her, and... I know she worries that people might not accept her for who she is, so the fact that you can probably meant more to her than she'd say.

[ He tugs on their joined hands, as if to get Noctis into an upright position if he has the energy to. ]

Of course, Noct. I know she's.... important to you. [ And after their earlier talk and what Pyra's done for Noctis: ] She's part of the family. [ Translation: Pyra better be ready for a fussy Ignis if she ever gets injured or ill herself. ]

Right... good. Yeah.

[His voice grows a little more sure with each word he utters, and with some effort, he manages to push himself into a sitting position and drag his body enough to lean against the bed's backboard. He's upright! It's a miracle. And he kind of just wants to lie back down, but he'll try to stay up as long as he can. He hasn't let go of Ignis' hand.]

Iggy... sorry for worrying you.

[ He's not going to let Noctis suffer like that. As soon as he hears him sit up, Ignis lets their joined hands go and he reaches out to grasp his shoulder before he gently tugs Noctis into a hug, supporting him that way. ]

It's alright, you know why I worry the way I do.

[ Pyra had said things to him at the wedding to, how Noctis considers him to be one of best friends and family, even though Noctis hasn't outright said it himself, Ignis just knows how he feels through his actions alone. ]

The only thing you can do is to keep getting better.

[ It had been such a relief to hear Noctis' voice finally. He honestly needed it and the simple touch as a reminder that yes, Noctis is alive and well now. ]

[Noct's breath catches at first, almost resisting before he folds into it and closes his eyes, his head slumping against Ignis' shoulder. Yeah, okay... maybe he needed this. Just maybe.]

Bet the Astrals would be pissed... [He exhales noisily, a half-choked laugh.] Thousands of years waiting, and I almost get myself killed by putting a magic bomb in my hammerspace. What a way to go.

[He won't cry. He won't, he's fine. But... it hurt so much, and it scared the hell out of him. He didn't want to die here. Didn't want to die at all, and... this is the first time he's come so close since he learned his true fate.]

[ He knows Noctis better than that. He shifts his grip into a protective one and rubs at his back gently with a hand. ]

It's okay, I'm here. [ Despite being blind, he can see through Noctis' words clearly. ] Let it out if you need to, Noct.

[ It'll be impossible for Ignis not to cry himself if Noctis gets started, he'd been worried sick. He'd been given quite the fright when he'd heard that Noctis nearly died. ]

[Whether it's a comfort to Ignis or not, Noctis doesn't cry. He's too tired for visceral grief, but his heart is still pounding in his chest, his breath quick and short as he holds on tight. The feeling of arms around him, a warm body pressed to his, every point of contact a reminder that he's alive... it helps, undeniably. He'd managed to remain eerily calm while it was happening, and since then he'd mostly slept. He doesn't really want to think too hard about how bad it almost became.

Here he is confronted by it, though. Where's he supposed to escape to when everyone's worried sick about him disappearing for good?]

[ Ignis say nothing after that, he's quiet while he feels Noctis griping at him tighter, hearing his breathing coming out quicker. Though he doesn't know the full extent of it still, Noctis had gone through a terrible ordeal. He'd almost died and that alone would scare the hell out of anyone, no matter how brave one can be. He doesn't fault Noctis at all for needing the comfort like this, hell, Ignis himself needs it to.

He turns his cheek to rest on top of Noctis' head, strengthening his hold on Noct.

Ignis is trying to be strong for the pair, but he can't be. He's too afraid to let go right now, that if he does, Noctis might disappear.

His own heartbeat picks up a bit and he tries to keep his breathing calm, key word try, but it comes out shaky. Otherwise, Ignis is offering his silent comfort and his protective embrace; clinging to his friend just as hard as he is. He's not breaking the silence until Noctis does; they need each other right now. ]

[He doesn't especially want to admit to anything, but it's hard to deny when he's like this. He lingers in the silent embrace for as long as he suspects he can get away with before he shifts a little, turning his head so his voice will no longer be muffled by Ignis' shirt, and pauses to control his breathing.]

I... guess I really don't want to die. [Another faint exhale, tremulous, frightened.] I thought if I just told myself I could handle it enough times I'd get there, and now- [He can barely breathe. Thinking about it scares the shit out of him. He'd faced it down and now the aftermath is wretched. This is how he's going to leave those he loves? He survived this time. When it happens for real they'll be left with the broken pieces, and the thought is so much worse.] Can't even die for one person without losing my head. I hate what this is doing to you guys. How am I supposed to do this for the world...?

[It's been a long time since he'd felt fear as crippling as this. He'll... need some time to reassemble his priorities, to remember what truly matters and what doesn't. His life is nothing, his future is nothing, this isn't allowed to shake him, he's stronger than this...]

[ They stay together, quiet like that for a couple of minutes. Ignis would've been comfortable just holding onto Noctis if that's what he needed, he wouldn't have pried too hard into it. He feels Noctis shifting his head and he lifts his own up while Noct readjusts, then he rests his cheek back down comfortably back on top of Noctis' head.

Ignis remains quiet while Noctis speaks up and stays that way even when he's done. He's feeling a few things here and he needs a moment to get his thoughts together, while he does so, he gets his legs up on the bed, taking great care not to disturb Umbra in the process. He feels his way to the bed's backboard, never letting go of Noctis in the process, getting them both comfortable. ]

It's good to hear, [ he says gently, feeling that wave a relief wash over his body and mind. From what he recalls from their previous conversation, Noctis had more or less accepted his fate, which has made Ignis think that he's been ready to sacrifice himself for the world. ] no one wants to die, Noct. I'll be a lot more worried about you if you didn't feel afraid.

[ It's breaking his heart to hear Noctis in this state of distress though. Noctis carries a heavy burden on his shoulders and that alone isn't fair. Ignis too, has been carrying that weight on his shoulders, just the knowledge of Noctis' fate since Altissia. Ignis never wanted to pressure Noctis into talking about it, he'd always left his own door open for him to come to Ignis with. Perhaps this sudden brush of death got Noctis into talking about it. One can think that can be ready, but they really may not be.

Ignis had been ready to sacrifice his own life when he'd used the ring to rescue Noctis, but he hadn't wanted to die. He'd be lying to himself that there had been a small part of him afraid, terrified to leave Noctis like that. He's been forgiven for his actions from back then, that was one of the roughest talks they had when he'd first gotten in.

Ignis wants nothing more but to find a way to save his friend, but he can't make promises that he can't keep. He's terrified out of his mind that he'll fail in that, that even with the huge time window, that he'll fail Noctis. But he has to try, he has to find a way to rescue both Noctis and the world of Eos. ]

Noct, [ surprised at his own tone coming over rattled, shaken and understandably so. He would've lost Noctis if Pyra and Ardyn hadn't done what they did. ] you know I'll try to find a way to save you, that much I can promise you.

[ Noctis has been this constant comfort in his life and it terrifies him to think of losing him in that way, in any way. A world without Noctis in it is a terrifying thing, which is why he'd been happy to hear Noctis' voice when he first got in. If Ignis ever goes home again, he has to wait an awful long time for Noctis to come out of the crystal, just to say goodbye, but he doesn't want to. He's not ready, gods, he's not ready to say that farewell, he doesn't think he'd ever be.

Ignis is attempting to cradle Noctis against his chest, as if to protect him from the outside world for a while. This is a talk that they've been needing to have and he knows deep down that it can't be fixed with a single conversation. There's no real solution here, he feels, the only thing he can do is try to be here for whenever Noctis needs him this way again.

He doesn't have a solid answer as to how Noctis is supposed to do this for the world. Particularly since Ignis has been pushing that thought out of his mind, he's been enjoying their time together here. He has yet to accept what's to come himself, that's also playing a factor into the not knowing what to say or do to that comment.

He takes another moment just to think about it, exhaling softly. ] I'm sorry, [ not liking not having an answer to this, he's always had an answer at least to whatever issue Noctis may be facing no matter how big or small. But he can't come up with one now. ] I... I don't know how you're supposed to do this for the world. [ His tone quite shaken still as he tightens his grip further. But maybe that's answer that he can't give, maybe that's something that Noctis has to find for himself. No one can have answers all of the time.

Right?

Ignis just hopes that this is enough to help Noctis through his fear. He hasn't heard his friend this shaken in a long, long while. ]

[Some of the tension leaves Noct's body as he listens to Ignis talk; there's no judgment for his cowardice, no lecture about neglecting his duties or even considering his own life. It's not exactly a surprise, since this is Ignis, but still... it's reassuring to hear it. So it's normal... of course, of course it's normal to not seek out his own death without regret or fear. He doesn't have to be some untouchable, infallible, or noble hero, committed only to his duty and unbothered by the price it will claim. And... someone wants to save him. Of course.

He knew, but... still. Still, to hear it means so much. If he were stronger, perhaps he wouldn't need this, but he isn't, so he does.

His arms wind around Ignis more tightly, allowing himself to be held closer.]

...It's weird, but... I kind of feel better, hearing that from you. [From Ignis, of all people.] If even you don't know, it's not so bad that I haven't figured it out yet.

[So many people have readily sacrificed for his sake already. Ignis and Gladio had been ready to do so if necessary, since they were much younger. The Kingsglaive died trying to protect him as a child. His father, Luna- they gave their lives and happiness to fuel his success. How did they manage it? How do they commit themselves to the cost, placing someone else's life over their own? He can manage one, but the other of the other... now that he's come so close, closer and in a much more frightening way than ever before...

"Many sacrificed all for the King; so must the King sacrifice himself for all."

He knows it's inevitable. He believes Ignis, believes in him, but at the same time this is a very, very old problem that no one else has been able to solve. It would be unfair to place all expectations on Ignis when he'd already given up so much. Not to mention his blindness... that, too, was an unfair sacrifice.]

Iggy... I don't want you to feel guilty, when... if it goes that way. It won't be because you didn't find anything. You know that, right?

[ It helps him to hear that his words helped out Noctis like this. When Noctis arms tighten around him, he exhales a breath, they haven't held each other like this in a long, long time. They haven't needed each other this badly in quite the while either.

Ignis is quiet for a couple of moments, letting his own feelings shine through now. ]

You're safe and alive, [ his own tone still quite rattled, but he's trying to hold back his fears. Trying to, but failing. ] It gave me quite the fright to hear that you almost died, Noct.

[ He can't see, he wishes he could see Noctis right now, but the feel of him in Ignis' arms is enough. To feel and hear his voice, to know that he's still here. Not well, but still in one piece. He recalls telling Pyra the exact same thing, while it did help him too, he still worried.

They trust each other so much, Ignis knows that he can trust Noctis with his life. If had gone with Ardyn back in Altissia, there's no doubt in his mind that Noctis would've risked life and limb just to get to Ignis. He doesn't doubt that.

Noctis' last words give him another pause. ]

I know. [ The vision he'd gotten in Altissia hadn't been kind at all, the words were harsh. It won't stop him from trying, otherwise... ]

I can't accept it, I'm sorry. [ his voice carrying more meaning here now, but still shaken. ] If I accept it, it means that I've given up and I can't, I won't...

I refuse to give up on you.

[ Going up against those gods, he's in for a long, long road and his answer might be a needle in a haystack for all he knows. But if there's a slim chance that he can save Noctis, he has to try. He won't give up, not as long as he has anything to say about it.

It kills him on the inside that Noctis has to do this, think about his fate like this. He's family and it stings Ignis to know that a valued member of his family might have to sacrifice himself like this. ]

Edited (typo :C) 2021-01-09 03:48 (UTC)

You're not the only one.

[Pyra was afraid for him- afraid he'd died, or wouldn't recover. He's pretty sure Ardyn was afraid as well, else he wouldn't have tried hard to heal him. His father isn't pleased. It isn't a surprise to hear that Ignis was frightened by what happened as well. He's always been protective, sometimes even moreso than Noct's own Shield.

His tone is apologetic, though he can't entirely regret his actions when it had resolved the issue that had been the source of Pyra's fear, the Omega Fetter's corrupted status. It's still in his armory, but it's stable now, which means she has the peace of mind to leave it there to be kept safe. He can apologize for being too reckless while still being grateful that the result benefits one he cares so much about.

The rest of what Ignis says, though... that, he might have to regret, if only for bringing it up and hurting his friend more.]

You don't have to... I wouldn't ask you to. [Asking Ignis to give up on him would be like asking him to stop being himself. It's such a huge part of who Ignis is.] I just... I don't want you to blame yourself.

[Should it come to the worst, and he has to make that sacrifice, it won't be Ignis' fault for failing to save him. It won't be because he didn't work hard enough or think of a plan or search for answers in the right place. Ignis is only human, and they're working against the plans of the gods and ghosts from thousands of years ago. It would be unreasonable to expect to be saved with everything that has ever given them power working against them.]

[ He'd heard the fear in Pyra's tone when she told him about it, she was there while it was going down, he can image her fear. He'd felt it himself when Noct's been in trouble before so he understands. And Ardyn too for what he did. Ignis knows that fear quite well.

The next words out of Noctis mean so much to him, he felt that wave of relief yet again. He'd been worried that he might be forced to accept it, but he doesn't have to. ]

That means a lot, coming from you. [ Undeniably, it helps to hear those words. He's always been the protector of the pair, but it feels like that they're protecting one another from their worst fears right now with words of reassurance.

Ignis pauses at that last comment. ] If... we get there, you'll have to remind me. [ He knows himself better than that, that he'll feel guilty about it anyway, but he'd feel much worse if he didn't try anything at all. Ignis will need the gentle reminder that it isn't his fault. ]

I'll remind you. [There's very little hesitation in his response.] I'll always remind you.

[He might have to remind himself in the process- not about passing blame, because there's not a chance in hell he'd blame anyone for not being able to save him, but about feeling resentful if he can't be saved. When the time comes he wants to be able to give his life with dignity, to go willingly and gracefully as one would expect of the Chosen King. No crying or cursing his fate- he'll walk tall, like his father expected him to.

Right now, trembling pitifully in the arms of his chamberlain and oldest friend, he's not there yet. He just knows he should prepare for the possibility, and that means not trying to pass the blame on the day it all ends.]

Last time you were here, I asked... what you'd do with your life, if you weren't with me.

[ Ignis wouldn't think Noctis pitiful for feeling the way how he does, no one should have to prepare for something like this.

Ignis finds himself starting to tremble too at those last words, he turns his face to bury himself on top of Noctis' head, letting the tear roll down his cheek. ]

I.... I don't know. [ This is all he's known, being Noctis' advisor, friend and brother. He doesn't know what he'll do without Noct in his life and it isn't something that he's prepared for in the slightest.

He exhales a shaky breath as he desperately clings to his friend now. ] Thinking of a thing like that is terrifying.

[ His tone going horribly broken as he keeps talking. ] I don't know what I'll do without my oldest friend. [ He's trying to hold on, but he's failing now, starting to fall apart. His breath hitches in his throat as a knock forms back there, not trusting himself to speak up now. Gods, he doesn't want to cry, but maybe he needs to. ]

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