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[He took a slow breath in some attempt to steady himself, running his hands back through unearthly-colored hair and straightening back up. As straightened up as he ever did, slouching as he was prone to do.]

...I shouldn't be bothering you with this; it's unfair to ask you or the others to bear anything of the sort, I'm sorry.

[Even now, he couldn't stand it; his role was to take on the pain for others, not burden them with his own problems. Least of all when it was one with no solution.]

[Noctis exhales at that, a somewhat annoyed noise.]

Didn't you hear what I just said?

[What good would hiding it do? Even if none of them can physically prevent what might happen, at least they can support one another against the garbage fate that awaits all of them.]

But I-...after everything I've done, all the horrendous things I said to you, I-...don't deserve that kind of help. Not yours or anyone else's.

[His own words were rattling around in his head like an echo, all growled hatred and snapped venom.]

If all of you simply gave up on me now, perhaps the inevitable would sting less for you.

I don't know what you said to me, and I don't care to know either.

[He has enough of those memories already, thanks. And he's been able to separate Ardyn's voice from Izunia's because what they say makes a huge difference.]

The point is, it isn't you. It wasn't you. You shouldn't be okay with getting abandoned for things you haven't done.[....] Anyway, it's not gonna happen.

...What am I supposed to do, Noctis?

[He folded his arms again, barely short of hugging his own shoulders and looking literally anywhere else.]

What happens if someday I should wake up here as something else entirely? I'm well past helpless and beyond useless to prevent it whether here or back at home.

It's not like I have all the answers, here.

[Noctis shakes his head. He's trying, but if he has no solution for himself what can he offer Ardyn? The situation sucks whatever way you look at it.]

I know what I'm going to do, though. Or... I think I do, anyway. I'm not going to give up just because I know I'm doomed. I'm gonna live the best life I can, while I can. And I'll probably screw it up, and there'll be days where I can't even get out of bed or look at another person, but to hell with it. They'll end me, but they don't own me.

["You're still you." He knows this, because he feels it. As long as he feels anything, he knows what he is. He doesn't have to smile, or be happy, or fake it, or pretend everything's fine when it isn't. Not unless he wants to. He has free will, and that means he can feel it all freely, good or bad.]

I'm not a tool. Neither are you. We're still alive, and we're still us. Every day I wake up as me, I'm gonna live it.

R...right. I'm sorry, I know I'm asking too much of you.

[But he was kind of limited in his options of who he could talk to about this, or about himself.]

It's...it's just difficult for me right now, trying to believe any of that matters knowing that I'll disappear long before 'Ardyn' does.

If it happens, we'll miss you. We'll mourn you. But we won't blame you for becoming what he is. We know you don't want it.

[Truly, he wishes he had better answers. But without knowing what to change and how, or what could be made worse in the future by those changes, he has no way to suggest an alternative. Nor does he have the will to do so. He's not going to be the one who screws up the return of the dawn their world desperately needs.]

It's... it's okay to be afraid of that. Anyone would be. But you can't let it eat you up, either.

...I just wish there were more I could do to stop it.

[But there wasn't, was there? 'Ardyn Izunia' was as close to a foregone conclusion as anything was, no matter what they did to save the world. With or without Ifrit, he was going to lose himself sooner or later.]

[It hurt and terrified him beyond measure to know that. He would have readily sacrificed anything for the sake of the world, but to know he was sacrificing his own sanity only to make things so much worse felt so hopeless, antithetical to anything he had ever been.]

I'm sorry, I truly am, I am doing all I can simply to handle this right now. I'll get over it or at least won't complain about it so much, but...right now I'm useless for anything except being upset about how much of a disaster I'll turn into.

[Noctis makes a faint noise at that, setting down his glass and leaning both elbows on the table with his head in his hands. He's bad at this. He knows this, he knows he's bad at it and always has been. There are no words to just magically sweep this away, and the grasp he has on his own peace of mind is incredibly tentative at best, so he can hardly expect more from the supposed villain in the equation. He's not asking Ardyn to just get over it, any more than he'd ask the same of himself. That isn't how this works.

Okay. Okay, just... think. What's better than this. What's more useful than saying a bunch of nonsense that probably doesn't work anyway. What's... helpful.

Finally he lifts his head, giving a long-suffering look towards Ardyn, and gestures towards the couch.]

You wanna go hug it out over there and share the bottle until we pass out? Because I've got nothing else for advice, but misery loves company, and... y'know. [A helpless gesture.] We watched ourselves die. I'm no expert but we probably need it.

...

[He seemed to think that over, forcibly pulling himself back together enough to focus.]

Would...that really be alright with you? You're likely to pass out long before I do.

[Noctis shrugs his shoulders. At this point it matters very little what's alright with him in light of what Ardyn probably needs.]

It's my house. Not like anyone has to carry me home. Stay as long as you want, you're welcome here.

[Not something he would say to Izunia.]

A...alright. [True enough; Noctis knew by now that if he asked for space, Ardyn would give it to him without question. The fact that he didn't right now was assurance enough that he wouldn't, regardless of Ardyn's humanity or lack thereof.]

I would like that.

[Satisfied by that, and with a nod and a deep swig of his glass to finish it - because even shitty wine is not to be wasted when your goal is to quietly drown yourself in woes - he grabs the bottle and carries it over to the couch. After nudging some cushions aside to make room, he flops down onto one side of it, propping his feet up shamelessly on the coffee table. The other half's for you, uncle, time to cozy up and be sadsacks.]

[Ardyn followed without an argument, settling in next to Noctis and leaning very lightly on his shoulder--almost cautiously, really.]

...Thank you for putting up with all this. I don't mean to cause you more trouble than I already have.

I'm not putting up with anything. You asked and I invited you.

[He offers the bottle out, shifting over so the lean is much more obvious on his side. Ardyn wants to be cautious, fine, but he's tearing down those pointless barriers, at least for one day. Cue aggressive non-optional cuddle.]

Here's a rule to consider: you're allowed to feel bad about yourself, but don't frame it in a way that makes me the asshole.

I...I'm sorry. I'll try not to make such a mistake again.

[After all, if he didn't want to hurt anyone then it would be pretty damn stupid to start now.]

[...He'd definitely take a drink, at least.]

I've never been very skilled with expressing problems, I'm afraid. It's something I clearly need to learn.

We can practice, I guess. Take a whack at it. See if you can say how you feel without mentioning us at all.

[At least Noctis doesn't sound angry about it. He's being a brat but he's also doing it to make a point, here.]

[Ardyn gave that some thought, handing the bottle back and crossing his arms. Choosing his words carefully:]

...I don't want to disappear.

[It was a start.]

[A good start. Noctis accepts the bottle, stewing on it a moment before taking a swig.]

Nobody would- especially like that.

[And especially now, having regained a family he lost.]

What you saw... are you angry?

At myself, I think. If I can call this anger, I think it would be frustration towards whatever I'll become.

Not at me?

[He's the one who does the killing, after all. Even if he's... changed, it still must have been painful to watch. A man with the face of Somnus once again killing a man bearing his own visage, all the purge the world of darkness and sit the throne, even if just for a moment.]

Of course not.

[An answer without hesitation, Ardyn uneasily resting a hand on his chest where a scar laid hidden under his shirt.]

It was--will be the right thing this time. That...isn't me. I would rather be dead than exist as that, and even with that aside...

[There was a brief pause that time, Ardyn searching for the right way to say what he was thinking.]

...I think he'll want that much. You'll be doing me a favor, whichever Ardyn I am by then.

[It's weird that he has mixed feelings on that. Would it be easier to handle anger? He's more equipped to deal with it, considering how he was raised and everything he went through, as opposed to the sorrow and self-loathing. At least when you're angry you just need to hit something for a while until that feeling subsides. This is... far more complicated.

On the other hand, the whole conflict was born from hate. He doesn't want to be hated, least of all by his own family.]

You won't be forgotten. I know it doesn't help, or change anything, but... people need to know what happened, and how things got this bad. Otherwise something like it could just happen again.

That is...a bit comforting, I think.

[He couldn't be angry at Noctis for this, when none of it was his fault or choice. By now he could barely even hate Somnus for all that had happened, and a lot had happened.]

It--it would be nice to think people might actually know what transpired back then, and better still to be able to prevent it.

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