[He's trying to be matter-of-fact about it, but it's obvious from his body language and the subtle tremor of his voice that he'd been left shaken by the vision. There's no escaping more bad news, it seems.]
[Oh thank god. The replicator wine sucks, and Noctis doesn't even like wine to begin with, but with the subject being this sore he needs it to loosen his tongue. He fetches a couple of glasses for the table and ditches the kettle, moving to sit down with Ardyn.]
It's fine. [Well. Maybe not fine, but he accepts the truth as it is. Not like he has a lot of people he can talk to about this either.] Sounds like you got part 1, and I got part 2.
[He hesitates then; keeping it vague is easier, but it isn't going to help either of them piece it together.]
[Ardyn was briefly stunned into silence, because what did one even say to that? Another apology caught in his throat, halted by how empty and useless it would sound.]
Will...you be alright? Is there anything I can do--I could leave if--if you would rather...
[Noctis shakes his head, instead reaching for the bottle to uncork it and pour out the glasses. Whether or not he's alright - and he most definitely isn't - has nothing to do with the Ardyn sitting here in front of him. He's still working on being... okay... with seeing that face, but avoiding the issue isn't going to help.]
You weren't there. Must've already... [He gestures vaguely. Whatever Ardyn saw.] Anyway, shouldn't I be asking you that? I'm the one who's gonna do it.
[Noctis is quiet for a long moment at that, not really having a solid answer that isn't just empty placation, which at this point doesn't help much. He takes a swig of his drink - and grimaces, because it's not to his taste at all, but wine is wine - then leans back in his chair.]
...Hey, in that vision... did you get a good look at my face?
[There were traces of himself, of his father, in that face. He knew they were there, knew it was himself, had seen his own eyes staring back at him in a mirror days ago. And he's known all along that he shared certain similar features with the Founder King in what can only be called uncanny, considering 2000 years lay between them. Those similarities could certainly carry into full adulthood.
This was... this was different, though. Like he'd been moulded that way during his time inside the Crystal, reformed into a ghost of the past. A physical representation of all that Izunia had come to hate in one body: Somnus, the Lucii legacy, the ring, the Crystal-]
I looked like him and he looked like you, but we're not... we're not them.
[The admission came quietly, Ardyn neither willing nor able to argue. Noctis was right and that was undeniable, but at the same time...for the dawn to break necessitated the fall of night in the first place. If things were going to unfold as written, then they both had to be resigned to more than just their deaths.]
I'm afraid of myself. Afraid that there's no way to prevent this person from disappearing and something else taking his place. Whatever else happens, I don't...I don't want to lose myself and hurt all of you.
[It's been a struggle for him for a while now, since he woke up fearing and hating the future of the man he'd come to appreciate and rely on- love, if pressed, as family. He can't fathom feeling that way for the one who betrayed and tormented him, wounded him right to the core by stealing that which he cherished, but the difference between them is a matter of years and the memories of an Astral who hated humanity. It's not a lot. At the same time it's infinite, too huge to truly imagine.
What the hell can they do, to fight against that infinity, or the will of the gods?]
I don't want you to end up that way, either. But we can't turn out backs on the end result.
[His hands clasp around the glass, bowing his head for a moment, before he glances up.]
...I saw the sunrise. After. It was... beautiful. Breathtaking. And... we did that. When it's over, the world's gonna be okay.
[Without us, is the unfortunate conclusion. But it's a conclusion that needs to happen, to free to world of the dark, the daemons, the Scourge. It's what they want- what they deserve, after everything they've suffered. To leave the world better than it was before either of them were born.]
I-I know. We agreed that the fate of the world was the most important thing to consider, no matter what course of action was taken to preserve it. It's for the best, and saving our world is the only thing I ever wanted to accomplish.
[And he still believed that, of course. Paying for such a thing with his life, that was nothing. Becoming a monster, traumatizing and killing who even knew how many in the process...that much was a little harder to accept.]
And I know it's selfish, I know I should either accept it or try harder to consider some other avenue that leads to the same end result, I'm going to die for the sake of the world and that's fine, but...
[He dropped his head into his hands, with a shaky sigh.]
...I can't stand this. Every minute of every day, I know exactly what I am. I never feel hunger or any pressing need to sleep, I'm always so damn cold, I can't even stand in sunlight without feeling a constant burning sensation. And I can't stand knowing this godsforsaken thing I'm constantly aware of that isn't me is going to destroy whatever's left that might still be human.
I don't care that I have to die. I just...want to be allowed to do it while 'I' still exist at all.
[He gets it. To the extent that he can, anyway; it's not as if he'll ever truly understand what it is to be a daemon, or to endure the state of un-life that Ardyn exists in every day; at most he knows the poison of Starscourge in his veins, a cold memory of his own distant past, or the burning sensation brought on by the ring's unforgiving fire. It isn't the same, but it's starting point to imagine the worst that lies beyond. If their roles were reversed, he would be suffering through it, too.]
Do you think that... we could still end up there somehow, if you didn't take Ifrit's memories? If we could fight as... friends, or family. I could set you free from your suffering, and then bring back the light... if the end result is the same, would it still be okay?
[If they need to die, then they die. That's... fine. He can accept that. But anyone should have the right to die as themselves. He wants to be himself when he passes, not Somnus or some twisted puppet of the gods and their Crystal, thinking only of destiny and sacrifice; similarly, Ardyn wants to be his own person, not a herald of the dark or a ruthless monster fueled only by hatred. They don't have to change the future, they don't have to spare themselves. As much as he wants to live, he won't risk that much. But... why do they have to be anything but who they truly are when they die?]
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[Though "worse" is a matter of perspective at this point.]
May as well talk while we're both ourselves.
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Have, er...have you spoken with Pyra recently?
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Noctis has a bit of a deer-in-headlights expression at that.]
She... lives here? So yeah.
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[Ardyn looked off to the side, folding his arms and faltering to say much else.]
I-...forgive me, I asked to speak with you and yet I don't know that I'm sure how to start.
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[He won't share her secret - he'd promised - but he can at least coax the truth out, if his suspicions are correct.]
Did something weird happen?
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[Obviously he couldn't blame Pyra for something blatantly beyond her control.]
But it's possible I...witnessed something I perhaps wasn't yet meant to.
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Noctis glances down, hands carefully braced on the counter, shoulders tense.]
You saw... something from the future.
[He knows, too.]
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[At least explaining that part was taken care of, but approaching the rest seemed an insurmountable task.]
I take it you did, as well?
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[He's trying to be matter-of-fact about it, but it's obvious from his body language and the subtle tremor of his voice that he'd been left shaken by the vision. There's no escaping more bad news, it seems.]
What was it?
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Hah... of course. Of course it was that. Noctis isn't sure if he wants to laugh to cry, so instead he just rubs his forehead with a grimace.]
Got any wine left? I don't think tea's gonna do it right now.
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I'm sorry. I--it's as I said. I didn't know who else to talk to about it.
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It's fine. [Well. Maybe not fine, but he accepts the truth as it is. Not like he has a lot of people he can talk to about this either.] Sounds like you got part 1, and I got part 2.
[He hesitates then; keeping it vague is easier, but it isn't going to help either of them piece it together.]
I... saw myself die, too.
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[Ardyn was briefly stunned into silence, because what did one even say to that? Another apology caught in his throat, halted by how empty and useless it would sound.]
Will...you be alright? Is there anything I can do--I could leave if--if you would rather...
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You weren't there. Must've already... [He gestures vaguely. Whatever Ardyn saw.] Anyway, shouldn't I be asking you that? I'm the one who's gonna do it.
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[Not yet, at least. Anger was the sort of thing reserved for an Ardyn he didn't know.]
I'm not fully certain what it is I'm feeling right now. Shame and disgust at myself, most likely.
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[Though based on what he knows of the man, it merits repeating.]
If it was, you definitely wouldn't be here.
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...Hey, in that vision... did you get a good look at my face?
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I looked like him.
[There were traces of himself, of his father, in that face. He knew they were there, knew it was himself, had seen his own eyes staring back at him in a mirror days ago. And he's known all along that he shared certain similar features with the Founder King in what can only be called uncanny, considering 2000 years lay between them. Those similarities could certainly carry into full adulthood.
This was... this was different, though. Like he'd been moulded that way during his time inside the Crystal, reformed into a ghost of the past. A physical representation of all that Izunia had come to hate in one body: Somnus, the Lucii legacy, the ring, the Crystal-]
I looked like him and he looked like you, but we're not... we're not them.
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[The admission came quietly, Ardyn neither willing nor able to argue. Noctis was right and that was undeniable, but at the same time...for the dawn to break necessitated the fall of night in the first place. If things were going to unfold as written, then they both had to be resigned to more than just their deaths.]
I'm afraid of myself. Afraid that there's no way to prevent this person from disappearing and something else taking his place. Whatever else happens, I don't...I don't want to lose myself and hurt all of you.
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[It's been a struggle for him for a while now, since he woke up fearing and hating the future of the man he'd come to appreciate and rely on- love, if pressed, as family. He can't fathom feeling that way for the one who betrayed and tormented him, wounded him right to the core by stealing that which he cherished, but the difference between them is a matter of years and the memories of an Astral who hated humanity. It's not a lot. At the same time it's infinite, too huge to truly imagine.
What the hell can they do, to fight against that infinity, or the will of the gods?]
I don't want you to end up that way, either. But we can't turn out backs on the end result.
[His hands clasp around the glass, bowing his head for a moment, before he glances up.]
...I saw the sunrise. After. It was... beautiful. Breathtaking. And... we did that. When it's over, the world's gonna be okay.
[Without us, is the unfortunate conclusion. But it's a conclusion that needs to happen, to free to world of the dark, the daemons, the Scourge. It's what they want- what they deserve, after everything they've suffered. To leave the world better than it was before either of them were born.]
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[And he still believed that, of course. Paying for such a thing with his life, that was nothing. Becoming a monster, traumatizing and killing who even knew how many in the process...that much was a little harder to accept.]
And I know it's selfish, I know I should either accept it or try harder to consider some other avenue that leads to the same end result, I'm going to die for the sake of the world and that's fine, but...
[He dropped his head into his hands, with a shaky sigh.]
...I can't stand this. Every minute of every day, I know exactly what I am. I never feel hunger or any pressing need to sleep, I'm always so damn cold, I can't even stand in sunlight without feeling a constant burning sensation. And I can't stand knowing this godsforsaken thing I'm constantly aware of that isn't me is going to destroy whatever's left that might still be human.
I don't care that I have to die. I just...want to be allowed to do it while 'I' still exist at all.
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[He gets it. To the extent that he can, anyway; it's not as if he'll ever truly understand what it is to be a daemon, or to endure the state of un-life that Ardyn exists in every day; at most he knows the poison of Starscourge in his veins, a cold memory of his own distant past, or the burning sensation brought on by the ring's unforgiving fire. It isn't the same, but it's starting point to imagine the worst that lies beyond. If their roles were reversed, he would be suffering through it, too.]
Do you think that... we could still end up there somehow, if you didn't take Ifrit's memories? If we could fight as... friends, or family. I could set you free from your suffering, and then bring back the light... if the end result is the same, would it still be okay?
[If they need to die, then they die. That's... fine. He can accept that. But anyone should have the right to die as themselves. He wants to be himself when he passes, not Somnus or some twisted puppet of the gods and their Crystal, thinking only of destiny and sacrifice; similarly, Ardyn wants to be his own person, not a herald of the dark or a ruthless monster fueled only by hatred. They don't have to change the future, they don't have to spare themselves. As much as he wants to live, he won't risk that much. But... why do they have to be anything but who they truly are when they die?]
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